How to improve the leadership skills and decrease "He Hates Me" among employees through four-step strategy and converting their rage into results
"He Hates Me," every leader heard, and wondered, "How can I solve it?" So, let's improve our leadership skills and discover how we can change our team's attitude.
Rod Smart, a prolific rusher with the now-defunct XFL pro football league's Las Vegas Outlaws in 2002, was known as "He Hates Me." In order to gain an advantage, the XFL allowed players to have nicknames printed on their uniforms.
"All through camp in Vegas, I was continually saying, 'He hates me,'" Smart recalled. "'He hates me, man; this coach hates me,' I'd remark to the other running backs if I didn't get the ball. That's something I've always said."
Smart wore He Hate Me on the back of his number 32 jersey, and the name has since become legendary, despite the fact that the XFL has been defunct for years.
When I first watched Rod Smart play, I was blown away ""Forget about football," I thought as I looked at the "He Hate Me" jersey. That is a lesson in leadership!" That's because "He Hate Me" and "Leadership" are frequently linked.
It's not about winning a popularity contest; it's about obtaining results — not just average outcomes, but consistently more results. To persuade people to do the latter, you sometimes have to challenge them to do the opposite of what they want to do.
That's where "He Hate Me" enters the picture. Strong feelings, resentment, and wrath are frequently produced when people are moved from being comfortable with ordinary outcomes to being uncomfortable with doing what is required to achieve excellent results. Being a leader entails having people dislike you, if not outright detest you. If you're not making a part of the people you lead upset, you're not challenging them hard enough.
This does not imply that you sanctify their rage and allow it to fester. You have no choice but to deal with it. You can't get angry, resentful, "He Hates Me" people to be your cause leaders, after all.
In four steps, learn how to deal with enraged employees.
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Recognize: Recognize that if you don't confront the rage of the people you lead, that anger will eventually come back to bite you.
Many leaders are unconcerned about public outrage. In effect, they say: "People should follow my instructions. Period. Their emotions are unimportant." Do not participate in this process if your leadership style is "my way or the highway." However, I believe that this type of leadership is significantly less effective than the type that inspires people to become impassioned cause leaders.
To achieve motivation, you must first determine whether or not others are furious with you. People frequently do not express their anger. They'll try to keep it from you out of embarrassment, trepidation, or a need for a sense of control.
Here are ways you can recognize that people are angry with you. The first is that you can see it on their faces or their body language. The second is that you can tell it in a drop off in their performance. The third is that you hear from other people they are angry. The fourth is they show you and tell you they are angry.
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Identify: Determine the source of their rage.
This may not be as simple or straightforward as you believe. They may be angry, but they may refuse to discuss why they are angry or even confess it to you. Don't put them in a bind. Make no snap decisions. Do not become enraged. Make an effort to be interested. For example, don't remark, "You're enraged..." Ask open-ended inquiries instead, such as "Are you furious with me?" — a question that appears to be only slightly different on the surface but will have a significant impact on the outcomes of your encounters with them.
Once you and they have agreed that they are furious, talk about why they are angry. Drill down beneath the surface to the core of why. They may claim that they are enraged because you have assigned additional work to them. However, if you delve deeper, you may discover that they believe the ostensibly extra work will set them up for failure and cause them to lose their jobs. As a result, they are enraged, not just because of the work load, but also because of job security concerns.
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Validate: Give them a reason to be angry.
Their rage is genuine and significant to them. It's who they think they are in their relationship with you (at the moment, they're upset). Many people are proud of their rage. They may regard it as the one thing they have control over in a setting where they feel powerless. They will believe you are demeaning them if you try to dismiss or minimise their rage.
Tell them you're aware they're upset and that you'd like to learn why. Avoid phrases like "I understand you're angry... but..." That "but" has the potential to turn them against you. "Help me understand why you're furious about what I'm doing," you can say instead of the "but." This is not to condone or approve of their rage, but to simply acknowledge that it exists and that you intend to address it in a mutually productive manner.
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Translate: Their rage represents an opportunity for you to convert their rage into outcomes. Because, as you'll see, their rage can be a fantastic source of inspiration.
People become enraged for a variety of reasons. * Their time is wasted; * their worth is undervalued; * they are threatened; and * their efforts are undervalued. 5. They don't have a say or a choice in their jobs. * Their leaders are unable of performing their tasks. * Their leaders are preoccupied with their own demands. * Their leaders do not comprehend or accept their needs. * Their leaders do not provide them clear instructions. * They are overburdened. 11. They're doomed from the start.
How to convert your employees' rage into results.
It's what I refer to as the problem/solution/action cycle. People's wrath is usually the result of an unresolved problem, which is the key to this process. A. Identify the issue with their assistance. B. Agree on the causes of the problem with them. C. Assist them in finding a solution. D. Encourage them to take action to address the issue. E. Establish a link between that action and improved outcomes.
This method can be used to address any of the aforementioned causes of anger. Let's look at the first reason as an example. Getting others to take new action is frequently hampered by their complaints that you are wasting their time.
- Make two lists: one of the components of their employment that they believe waste their time, and the other of the aspects that they believe are important.
- Agree with them on which portions of the project are actually a waste of their time and which aren't. They may remain enraged if you do not reach an agreement. For example, they may believe that having to complete a specific report or portions of that report is a waste of time. If you believe that such reports are necessary, you will not be able to continue this process until you can persuade them that they are necessary or that you would change them to make them necessary.
- Once you've reached an agreement, use this analytical tool to work on each item on the "waste of time" list: Decide whether you want to keep it, change it, or get rid of it. There isn't a fourth option!
- If you've decided to make a change, ask them to recommend steps they'll take to make it happen. Take note of the order. The first step in altering something is to ask them what needs to be changed and what steps they need to take to make it happen. You can always veto their option if necessary. However, if you let them make that decision first, you may discover that they have defined steps that tap into a fresh vein of outcomes. At the very least, they will be dedicated to those efforts since they address the root of their anger problem.
- Establish a link between those actions and improved outcomes. For example, how will they save/earn money now that they've reduced, removed, or modified a particular area of their profession that was causing them problems?
Be aware that you may be met by "professionally furious" individuals who will remain angry regardless of what you do. They get upset just by being you, or being a leader, or just being you as a leader, and nothing you do or say appears to change that. However, continue to work on the four-step procedure. It's your best bet for calming down even the most enraged "professionals."
